For I am Lost, by Wanderer

Story name: For I am Lost
Author: Wanderer
Publication date: September 12, 1999 (on TSA-Talk)

Date: Late summer, 706 CR
Location: Metamor Keep

Overview

Christopher and Lurene search for Wanderer's lost mind.

+ Story info - Spoilers!

Summary

Late one night, Wanderer leans his nose against Lurene's leg. She screams and throws her pillow at Wanderer, waking up Christopher. She angrily tells Christopher that Wanderer has been doing this every night: he wakes her up, whines at the window, and then curls up beside Christopher. Chris knows that it is wolves' nature to touch each other, but he is curious about the window. Chris calls Wanderer by name (which Wanderer responds to) and asks if the bard is still in there somewhere. Wanderer doesn't show it, so Chris and Lurene say goodnight. Chris tells Wanderer good night, and for a moment Wanderer almost responds. Chris looks into Wanderer's mind, and see several indistinct images, and a feeling of confusion.

They visit Brian Coe, and Chris asks if Wanderer could be returning. Coe does not know much about magic, but suggests taking a walk to trigger some memories. They lead Wanderer to the courtroom, where an age regress is here to audition as the new court bard. He plays a song of riddles, and Wanderer becomes agitated and runs away.

Sadly, Chris saw nothing new in Wanderer's mind, just more confusion. That night, he has a dream, on which he follows a road that leads to bare earth. An image of Wanderer stands besides him, which suddenly turns and asks Chris where he is.

Chris explains his dream to Lurene that the barren field represents Wanderer's bardic knowledge; Wanderer's terror comes from following the path and finding nothing there. But Chris is cheered up, because in that barren field, Chris saw a single blade of grass.

Characters

Main characters:

• Christopher: A feral bear morph, a mage and tutor, Lurene's caretaker.
• Wanderer: A feral wolf, formerly the Keep bard, now Christopher and Lurene's pet. There is a hint that Wanderer's mind is still within him, inert and buried, but waiting to return.

Supporting characters:

• Lurene: A wolf morph, Christopher's apprentice.

Minor characters:

• Brian Coe: A raccoon morph, the Keep physician.
• An age regress who is seeking the position of court bard. He sings a song of riddles that scares Wanderer away.
  • He is slightly built, and carries a lyre. He speaks with a poetic lilt.
  • His song is based on the real-life folk song "I Will Give My Love an Apple".

Important mention:

• Raven: A wolf morph, the Keep's Lothanasi priestess. Christopher has not visited her since Wanderer's latest change; he doesn't want to remind her.

Referenced:

• Thomas: The Duke of Metamor.

Chronology / Story Connections

• This story directly follows from Lethe, which in turn follows the "Lessons trilogy": Lessoned, Hard Lessons, and Lessons of Solitude.
• The moon is crescent tonight.

Pawns of the Gods
Stories	For Knowledge's Sake · Lightbringer · Tail of a Young Wolf · Fetish · Ward · En Lieu
	The Lessons Trilogy	Lessoned · Hard Lessons · Lessons of Solitude
	Lethe · For I Am Lost · Passing Notes · Clearing Away · The Winter Assault · Misericardia · Koinonia · A Pawn Advances · Lessons of Faith · Dances
Major Characters	Christopher · Wanderer · Raven · Lurene